So the University of Kansas has been calling lately and I’ve been screening their calls. They call about once a year, and by they, I mean some poor schmuck still in school has been trained to call me, act like he really cares about what I’m doing with my life, ask me a bunch of work-related and personal questions and then add in at the end, “Oh yeah, we would love if you donated some money to the University.”
Instead of taking the time to listen to the spiel, I’ve just been hitting reject every time. But last night my phone was on the kitchen counter at my girlfriend’s house and I was sitting on the couch finally watching last Friday’s new episode of Friday Night Lights FIVE days after it aired. I had somehow avoided hearing any spoilers, and finally, I had an hour that I could devote to the best show on TV.
I had picked the option to watch a long advertisement before NBC.com aired the episode so I could view the show without commercial interruption. I had hoped I could watch without any sort of interruptions…
But my phone started ringing, and as I put the laptop down on the couch and got up to answer, my foot hit the back of the screen and closed the laptop, which I knew would force me to restart the episode*. If I had known it was just KU calling for money again, I would have not gotten up. And if I had been doing anything else and the phone call had not just ruined my FNL viewing experience, I would not have answered. But it was KU calling for money, and the call did ruin my viewing experience, so I answered.
*For some reason when I finally was able to sit back down, I no longer was given the choice of whether to watch one long ad at the beginning or ads at every commercial break; I had to watch the ads at every commercial break. I hate this! It’s why God invented the DVR and the choice to watch one long ad at the beginning.
The girl on the other end was noticeably nervous. Maybe it was because she had on her call sheet that this number had rejected the last 10 calls; she probably didn’t anticipate that I would answer. Or maybe it was my somewhat annoyed tone.
Even though I hate these types of cold calls, I always feel a little bad for the people making them. A lot of people probably say a lot of mean things to them, especially when they interrupt their TV viewing. Plus, my Grandpa Maxine was a telemarketer at one time, and Grandma Maxine was the sweetest lady you could ever meet.
So I try to be nice. I usually say no, but I try to do it in the most respectful way possible – even if I’m annoyed that they just interrupted Friday Night Lights.
I did not get the girl’s name, but I’ll call her Nervous Nancy. Nervous Nancy started out by saying that we (meaning me and the KU money-chasing service) had not talked in a while, and they would like to update my information. One of the questions was where I was currently working, and since Red Nova Labs was not in their records, Nervous Nancy did what they teach you in sales’ training and she picked up on this. She started asking me a lot of questions about my job, and what it was I do and how long I had been working there. She also asked if I got back to Lawrence very often, if I attended many KU sporting events and if I had written for the college newspaper.
Bless her heart, Nervous Nancy was trying to build a rapport.
I played along for a while, but I knew what Nervous Nancy was trying to do and I was ready to get back to my show. I was hoping Nervous Nancy would eventually just move onto the real reason she called (seeking a donation), but I could tell she was going to drag this on for a while. I’m sure she is trained that the longer you can keep someone on the phone, the better shot you have at getting what you want. So I said to Nervous Nancy, “I’m guessing that you’re calling to try to get a donation of some kind.”
(Awkward pause)
Nervous Nancy: “Well, yes… that was one of the reasons I was calling.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m just not in a position financially to donate right now.” … You know, since I gave you THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars not too long ago, and I’m 26 and not exactly swimming in cash.
Nervous Nancy: “Well, I, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I, ummm, didn’t tell you about some of the programs that, that are doing well at KU and the different levels of giving that we, uhh, have.”
Oh, Nervous Nancy, you persistent Dame you.
She proceeded to tell me about some of those programs, in particular the campus media. Am I proud of the publications and programs I participated in? Yes. Did it make me want to give KU more money? No. But Nervous Nancy was just doing her job…
Me: “I’m sorry, but like I said, I’m just not in a position to donate right now.”
Nervous Nancy: “Well, we have different levels that you can give! (She started talking fast at this point, as she knew she was losing me.) We have…..”
And Nervous Nancy listed them all off, and I said no to all four, because I had made up my mind before the call, and no matter how persuasive and how bad I felt for Nervous Nancy, I wasn’t going to change my mind.
It reminds me of an Oatmeal cartoon, where the shorter and more candid you are, the better chance you have of convincing me to buy your product.
If Nervous Nancy would have just said, “Hi, I’m with KU and the State is cutting education funds and we need money. Will you donate?” I would have still said no, but I would have appreciated her honesty.
Instead, Nervous Nancy tried her damndest to convince me that KU cared about me and I should be so appreciative of their care that I should give them some of my money.
It’s poorly executed cold calls like this that make me appreciate our sales’ people and our products. Someone once told me that the key to sales is figuring out what someone needs, how to fulfill that need and articulate it so that the buyer (or customer) understands why your product will benefit them.
What separates Nervous Nancy from our sales guys is that they at least believe in our product and convince customers that it is a product that’s worth their money, because it is. They sometimes get shot down, but they don’t let that ruin their psyche. And when they have a shot – and even sometimes when it doesn’t appear that they have a shot whatsoever – they know exactly what customers need to hear, and you get the idea that they really believe in what it is that they’re telling them.
I doubt Nervous Nancy believes she’s going to donate in a few years or believes that I really should donate. I just hope if she goes into sales, she finds a company that she can believe in… and catches people when they aren’t in the middle of an episode of Friday Night Lights.
